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There are certain things which are always at the back bench during courtship time but suddenly occupy front seats when you get married. Before marriage, you think you are in love and so ignore a lot of things. When you get married, those realities come to take the front seat and stare at you in the face. These are things people think are not important but they really are.

The solution, I believe, is to get as much information or knowledge that you can, about your partner. That one too comes as a result of conversations. If the two of you spend time just conversing, you will automatically get to know a lot about each other. These conversations will generate a lot of questions.

HEALTH STATUS: You must find out about his health status. Does he have any chronic ailment? Is there a particular diseases that is hereditary in his life? What about his genotype or rhesus factor? Is he sickling positive, a carrier or sickling negative. This is necessary to ensure that you are medically compatible.

AGE: What is the age difference between the two of you? If he is older than you by more than ten years, you must know and prepare for the attendant problems. A wide age different will eventually tell on the marriage. However it can be managed if you know and prepare for it ahead of time.

PARTICULAR DENOMINATION: If the man belongs to a denomination whose beliefs you are not comfortable with, you must advise yourself. It is better that after marriage, the two of you go to the same church. Usually it is the woman who follows the man. Therefore be sure you are ready to follow him there. There is quiet a problem when the two are from extreme ends of the denominational divide. For example the man is an Adventist and the woman is a charismatic. If the woman is a committed Christian, it will breed tension in the marriage. Also your children will be affected. Therefore it is important to iron these things out before accepting the proposal.

TRIBE OR RACE: You should understand that in our part of the world, marriage goes beyond just the two of you. It is also the blending of families. Therefore you must be sure that you have no reservations about the tribe the man comes from. Are you prepared to accept his family as your own? Is your family prepared to accept him? I am saying this because I know not all people in the Body of Christ are matured and spiritual to know that if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.

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