Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer





Last week we started looking at some principles that will turn our houses into homes. We saw that Eden was the most ideal home environment ever and the word Eden means order. Today we are looking at another important ingredient for an ‘Eden’ home. Many people don’t really value it but that is one of the main reasons for problems in marriage.

I am talking about understanding the differences between men and women. Today I am focusing on differences in our sexuality. There is a lot of differences in the sexuality of men and women. The first major difference is in our sex drive. Sex drive is the desire and passion for sex. The sex drive of the man is compared to a fountain in the Bible, while that of the woman is compared to water in a cistern. This means that men are more aggressive than women when it comes for sex. This aggressive is also due to a hormone in men called testosterone.

So, in almost every specie from the animal world to the human world, it is the males who pursues the female for sex. Some women have always wondered why men are that crazy about sex. But unless you understand their make-up you will not understand. A woman too craves for sex sometimes but compared to a man, her desire for sex may be like a drop of water compared to a bucket of water.

What I am saying doesn’t mean that the sex drive cannot be controlled. In fact it can and should be controlled. One of the signs that you are ready to marry as a man is that there is no pressure on your sex drive. Your sex drive should be reserved for your wife as the Bible says in

Proverbs 5:15-18
Drink water from your own well-share your love only with your wife. WHY SPILL THE WATER OF YOUR SPRINGS IN PUBLIC, HAVING SEX WITH JUST ANYONE? You should reserve it for yourself. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.(NLT)

Let us look further into our sexual differences.

One of the gifts God gave men is our eyes. A man is sexually stimulated by what he sees either with his physical eyes or the eyes of his imagination. There seems to be a connection between the eye and the male sex organ. What turns a man on is the exposed body of a woman. This gift was given because the husband naturally is supposed to be the pursuer as far as sex is concerned.

Because of this powerful gift of men, what a woman can do to help a man is not to expose her body to the man. That is why indecent dressing is doing a lot of damage to many people in godly relationships leading towards marriage. In a godly relationship the partners should be open and frank about their weaknesses and not take chances. If you as a guy are sexually stimulated by a particular way of dressing of your partner, be bold to let her know that it is worrying you. If she doesn’t accept, it means she doesn’t love you enough. Some, women are surprised and some even express shock at the assertion that their indecent dressing is an offence to men.

Recently I met a girl I taught in Sunday school at the kindergarten stage who is now in first year at the university. She had been dressed skimply with her belly button showing. I tried to advise her against indecent exposure. She was shocked at my assertion that her dressing could tempt guys. Apparently, I was also shocked that she was shocked and she was also shocked that I was shocked that she was shocked. (laugh out loud).

On the other hand, a woman is not moved by sight but by touch and words. A woman will be sexually stimulated when touched in the right places. In a godly relationship the partners must be mindful of boundaries. As a woman you must know that certain parts of your body are not meant for anybody but your husband. Therefore, not even your fiancée has the license to touch.

If you are a guy you must also understand that the female body has been designed to respond to touch. Almost every part of the woman is sensitive to touch, even though there are degrees of sensitivity. The three most sensitive areas are the breast area, the sexual organ area and the buttocks area. If any man starts touching you in a way that you are not comfortable with, stop him right from the beginning. Otherwise it will get to a point, you will not be able to stop. Women have melting points.

Remember they are from Salt City and salt melts. Salt must dissolve before it affects food. Also once it gets to the melting point, there is not much you can do about it. As a woman, if the guy keeps touching you in the sensitive areas, you will ‘melt’ even before you know. Therefore, it is wise to stop them before they stop you.

Men respond almost immediately to sexual stimulation but women take time. A man is ready for sex at any time he can have an erection but a woman must be prepared for sex. The man’s response can be likened to a gas stove while a woman’s response can be likened to an electric stove. Because of ignorance concerning this difference, some married couples have sexual problems. Usually it is the wife who has unmet sexual needs because when the husband is ready, he jumps on her like a hawk swooping to catch a chick without getting her ready by loving touches and words.

Men are keen on sex while women are more keen on intimacy and closeness. Sometimes some women don’t understand why their husbands can’t be romantic and close without necessarily being sexual. Women feed on affection and closeness. They yearn for the loving touches of their husbands. Husbands also love sex. Thus, the frustration that results from lack of knowledge.

It is because of this same reason that some girls end up sleeping with guys. The guy is looking for sex while the gal is looking for attention. So the girl reasons that to continue to have that attention, let me just give him what he is looking for. The gal gives her body to the guy, the guys uses her and dumps her and goes looking for another ‘project’.

Leave a comment