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MERCHANT OR TOURIST?

TORCHWORLD MINISTRIES

ARTICLE BY APOSTLE JOSEPH MINTAH
RELATIONSHIP THURSDAY

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Matthew 13:45
Again the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it(NKJV).

This was a parable Jesus gave and I want to use it for our discussion today. Today we are looking at two different types of men who will seek to enter into a relationship with you as a lady. In the parable, the man who went seeking the beautiful pearl was a merchant. A merchant is a businessman who is looking for profit.

Notice that he was not a tourist. There is a world of difference between a merchant and a tourist. The main difference is their attitude and ‘posture’. The merchant is looking for profit, increase, return on investment while the tourist is just motivated by pleasure and sight-seeing.

As a young woman, men will approach you asking you for a relationship. Some of these men will be merchants and others will be tourist and you must know the difference. I am going to spell out six major things that will help you sort out the differences.

I. MERCHANTS ARE SERIOUS MINDED, TOURISTS ARE JUST LOOKING FOR PLEASURE: As a young woman, take it from me that any guy who demands sex before marriage is not serious. I keep talking about this. It looks like it will take some ladies a whole lifetime to get this. The way guys see sex is entirely different from the way a woman sees sex. To a man, sex is just a physical activity. A man can easily have sex with you without an ounce of genuine love. Tourists are only looking for pleasure and they do not really intend to stay.

Therefore, if the man is demanding sex know that if you give in as a lady, you have sold yourself cheap. A merchant will value you as a pearl. You don’t just stumble upon pearls. They are rare and you have to dig hard to find them. A merchant will pay any price to get you because he sees the value you possess. The price he will pay include, respecting your views about sex before marriage and taking you to the altar before touching you. If a guy leaves you because you denied him sex, thank God. You have been delivered from a tourist.

II. MERCHANTS WANT MARRIAGE, TOURISTS JUST WANT RELATIONSHIP: Every pre-marital relationship must have a purpose and a destination. The destination is marriage off course. Tourists will just ask you out without talking about marriage. They just want to be in a relationship with you but they haven’t thought about marriage yet. If a man proposes to you, ask him whether he is talking about marrying you or not. If he cringes at the idea of marriage, know that he is a tourist not a merchant. These days there are many young people in relationships who don’t know where they are going. They are just trying it out. That is not good. A relationship is not trial and error. The two of you must have a plan and I mean a definite plan of marriage and be working towards it.

III. MERCHANTS TAKE TIME TO KNOW YOU, TOURISTS JUST FOCUS ON THE OUTWARD.
One way to know the difference between a merchant and a tourist is the length of time it takes for them to propose to you. If somebody meets you in a taxi, takes your number and calls you to tell you he is interested in you, know for sure that you are talking to a tourist not a merchant. A merchant will seek friendship first. He will seek to know you more. This is because, a merchant is not looking for a sexual partner. He is looking for the mother of his future children, a future business or ministry partner, a friend and partner he can grow with and live with the rest of his life. Such a person will obviously take time to know you before he proposes.

IV. A MERCHANT IS FOCUSED, A TOURIST IS STILL LOOKING AROUND
From the scripture I quoted at the beginning, we saw that the merchant went about looking for beautiful pearls, but when he found the ONE that he liked, he forgot about the rest and paid a price to get that one beautiful pearl. A merchant will settle on you and will stick to you. A tourist will keep stretching his neck to look at other women. If you have issues with your guy about women, know that he is a tourist. He doesn’t really intend to stay. If you have to fight with another woman over your guy, know that the guy is a tourist. Merchants are serious people. They know what they want and once they find it, they focus. Tourist are not stable.

V. MERCHANTS ARE DETERMINED, TOURIST ARE EASILY DETTERED
When a merchant finds a pearl, he will pay any price to get it. Tourists don’t have the patience to wait for anything. The least opposition they get, they want to get out. A merchant will fight and pray and work hard to get the pearl he has settled on. Men who will pull out at the least opposition from parents or friends are not merchants but they are Tourists.

VI. MERCHANTS ARE CONFIDENT IN THEIR CHOICE, TOURIST ARE INFLUENCED BY FRIENDS
When a merchant makes a choice, he is proud of it. He can defend his choice. That is why merchants take longer to propose. Tourists are easily confused by friends. They like to compare notes and will change their minds when their friends say things about their choice. Some will even change their minds when their friends pass denigrating comments about their partner’s appearance, background or tribe. Such men are tourists. Not merchants. A merchant takes time to make a choice and they are proud of their choice.

In our next issue we will turn our attention to the ladies and spell out differences between pearls and stones.

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