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Matthew 13:45
Again the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it(NKJV).

This scripture provided lessons for us last week. We compared men to merchants and tourists we saw some differences between them. Today, I want us to turn our attention on the women.

The merchant was looking for pearls not just stones. You and I know that there is a world of difference between a pearl and a stone. Pearls are precious stones. You don’t just stumble upon pearls, you have to intentionally and consciously search for them. As a serious minded young man (a merchant) you must open your eyes and examine the ladies who come your way to see whether they are pearls really or they are just stones.

I want to give you four kinds of women the Bible warns every serious man against.

Proverbs 5:3
For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey and her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword(NKJV)

This is a woman who doesn’t accept that sex before marriage is a sin. Such women are not pearls. They cannot be found in the ‘garden of Eden’. Please notice that I didn’t say they cannot be found in Church buildings. There are many people who are in church who are not in God’s presence.

An immoral woman is also seductive. She does things that suggest an amorous interest in men. Run away from such women. Don’t become friends with them. Cut off friendship with any lady who pesters you to enter into a sexual relationship with a guy.

Seduction can take several forms. A look can be seductive (Prov 6:25), a way of dressing can be seductive (Prov 7:10), a touch can be seductive (Prov 7:13)


Proverbs 25:24
It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman (NKJV)

This refers to a woman who is hot tempered. She can even fight in public and all that. Such a woman is not a pearl. She can rain insults on you.


Proverbs 9:13
A foolish woman is clamorous; she is simple, and knows nothing (NKJV)

This talks about a woman who doesn’t know anything. The word simple here means naïve. She doesn’t know home management, she doesn’t know personal hygiene etc. Generally she is not on top of issues. Even issues affecting her life.

This is very important. Women are endowed with managerial ability. While men are leaders women are managers. The leader deals with vision and the general direction of the home. But the manager sees to the day to day running of affairs. It takes a lot of wisdom to do. Today’s woman deserves commendation especially because most women are not typical house wives, they work, sometimes under strenuous conditions but are still able to combine that with the management of the home.

So dear young woman, take time to learn how to manage a home. In this part of the world, women traditionally play the role of cooking in the house. It is not uncommon to find a man who doesn’t know how to cook. But if a woman doesn’t know how to cook, it is seen as not good enough. But these days because of time spent in boarding schools, some ladies don’t get the time to learn the art of cooking. So we have a lot of ‘indomie’ ladies. Who only know how to prepare indomie (noodles).

Make time to learn these things. One other thing you must learn as a home keeper is the art of hospitality. Learn how to receive visitors. This is also very important before you get married.


Proverbs 11:22
As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion(NKJV)

This refers to a woman who concentrates only on dressing the body but doesn’t have inner worth. She is concerned only about putting on makeup or nice dresses. Such a woman has an insatiable appetite for anything that is in vogue but is empty on the inside with no spiritual, mental and moral resources. A woman must be built spiritually, physically, mentally and socially.

Spiritually you must develop muscles. Develop a closer relationship with the Lord. You do that by daily consistent time spent alone with God. I have stressed on the importance of building our spiritual lives enough.

Mentally you must enrich your mind. Read, learn, observe. The Bible enjoins older women to teach younger women. This means that the younger women must be teachable and willing to learn.

Titus 2:3-4
The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed(NKJV)

The fact that the Bible says older women should teach the younger women doesn’t mean the younger women should just sit down and wait for them to be called. You must be proactive. Go to them, read, observe. Do everything to learn.

Socially you must learn to be a friendly person. Learn to smile. Learn how you can improve the lot of other people.


Proverbs 7:10
And there a woman met him, With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart(NKJV)

This is a woman who dresses seductively. Few women know the impact indecent dressing has on men. Therefore a woman who dresses seductively will never attract a good man. You will always get a ‘tourist’ to take you out by dressing indecently, but you will never get a ‘merchant’ to take you in (marriage) by indecent dressing.

There is a saying that dress the way you want to be addressed. In Bible times, there were different kinds of dressing for different kinds of people. Widows had a way of dressing, virgins too had a way of dressing and so on.

Seductive woman lures men to lust after her.
i) A look can be seductive-Prov 6:25
ii) A dress can be seductive-Prov 7:10
iii) A touch can be seductive-Prov 7:13

To seduce means to deceive. It carries the idea of casting a spell on somebody.

Taken directly from my book, A pearl of great price: becoming a woman of gold and glory

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